Wherever you look you see ‘perfect’ people on Instagram, Facebook, Tiktok, in magazines, and various other places. I always wonder: ‘Who decided that this is how we should look?’
Does it mean, if we don’t look a certain way, we’re not pretty enough or good enough? When I was 15 (until 35) I believed I had to fit this ideal image of how a woman should look. You had to be thin, a perfect symmetrical face, big boobs and long legs, and size zero. I desperately tried to fit in by starving myself, walking in high heels to look taller, wearing bootcut jeans so my legs looked slimmer, using filters on photos, etc. But it didn’t matter what I did, I was never satisfied with the way I looked. Oh, how I wish I knew what I know now!
My looks are far from the ‘ideal’ image! I am short, have freckles, a crooked nose, small boobs, ‘soccer’ legs, a turkey neck, and so on, but you know what? I am totally okay with that, because I am me!
It would be a very boring world if we all looked the same. Over the years I have learned to accept myself for who I am, including all the ‘imperfections’! Because, who decided that these were imperfections? Not me! The people who want to make money by creating a certain standard of how we should look so they can sell their magazines and products.
Does that mean I always like what I see in the mirror? Of course not, I have off days, but most of the time I do. I’m done wasting my time focusing on what doesn’t look ‘right’ when I look in the mirror. I focus on the things that matter, because there are so many things that are far more important than the way we look. As far as I know I’m healthy, I have an amazing family, wonderful friends, I have a roof above my head, I am able to buy food, and I’m traveling the world together with my best friend! Sounds pretty perfect to me!
I also believe that getting older helps to accept who we are and how we look. Things that I thought were important when I was in my 20’s suddenly don’t seem that important anymore. Everyone has their insecurities, even the people you might look up to.
My image of myself started to change in a positive way when I got older, but also when I started to:
- Take care of myself first.
- Standing in front of the mirror and name 3 things about myself that I like. (yes, this can be hard, but eventually you will manage.
- Accept the days that I’m not feeling positive about myself. They are part of life.
- Not being too hard on myself. – When I was a bit heavier, I tried to adopt a healthier lifestyle, but sometimes I couldn’t help myself and still eat the wrong things. I would feel horrible afterwards and thought I could never do this, so I was ready to give up. What I didn’t realize is that nothing is lost. I can start over again and I’ve gained experience!
- Surround myself with positive people. – In the past I had some people around me that always had something negative to say about me. They masked it as a joke. When I stopped hanging out with these people, I felt a lot better. Real friends will always support you, no matter what!
What do you do when you feel insecure to make yourself feel better? Share your thoughts in the comment section below!